My Sex Bucket List: Making Love, Not Porn

I’m sure that I’m not making any big revelations by saying that Make Love Not Porn is a wonderful site with incredible videos. Its videos are of real people having real sex – people of all ages and all body types — the kinds of couples you see shopping at Macy’s or having dinner at P.F. Chang’s. They’re videos that you can see and feel the excitement, enjoyment and sensuality of people having sex — things that can’t be scripted, acted or faked (if they are at all) in most porn videos.

I told my lover, Parrot, about Make Love Not Porn before we set out to make our own sex tape (read: Why I’m Glad We Made a Sex Tape and Lights, Camera … Aaaaaah!). I knew he’d appreciate it partly because I knew he’d want to research every resource for making the kind of sex tape he wanted to make – from content to filming and editing techniques.

A few days after he completed the video, he asked, “What do you think of submitting a video to Make Love Not Porn? It’s a fantasy of mine.”

Originally, we agreed that our video would be for our eyes only. If he wanted to share it with anyone (I had a feeling that he’d want to share it with his best buddy, and I was OK with that), I asked that he would not share the file online. He knew that I had concerns about the video possibly being seen by the wrong eyes – family and work associates.

“I could crop out and blur any identifying features,” he said.

And, of course, I don’t have the sexiest and most in-shape body, but after I saw our video, the passion and the hotness was all about our interaction — just like the couples in the Make Love Not Porn videos.

At first I was concerned that cropping our faces would deter from the allure and integrity of the video. Would people want to watch a sex tape if they couldn’t see faces and expressions?

I took a closer look at some of the videos in the archives and saw that some couples had made some really enticing videos without revealing identifiable features with some really creative editing.

I went back and took another look at the full-length video Parrot shot and edited of the private times we shared during our weekend in the Sonoma Valley – making love in our bed at the B&B, the outlines of us bathing ourselves on the other side of a pebbled glass shower door, our au naturel picnic above the shoreline of Lake Sonoma. I was proud of it and willing to share the details in words in my blog. Why not share the visuals – discreetly, of course?

Before long, I was throwing out possible scenes and scenarios for our next video that we plan on sharing on Make Love Not Porn.